Making a Change

Often times in life we can find ourselves repeating the same patterns on autopilot, day in and day out. At times we are so accustomed to our daily routines that we don’t even notice what aspects of our day may be contributing to or taking away from our positive mental health. We give to others all day, we focus on them and we think we are doing everything we can to give to ourselves at the same time.

A quote I shared on my instagram this week has literally been following me around recently and I knew it was a sign that I had to reflect on it and write about it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (Albert Einstein).

So often we go through life disappointed in outcomes or results without making a change. Or we recognize the need for change and the need for a shift but we decide it is too difficult and too laborious to do so.

Nothing worth having comes without some difficulty, so if you are noticing outcomes that you feel are not positively impacting your life it may be time to make a shift.

When this quote started following me around I began to reflect. Is there something I can do in my life to shift the entire equilibrium in a more positive direction? I already felt pretty content but I did often feel as though I was running on autopilot. Sure- we are a pandemic. I have my hospital job, I take care of my two little girls on my days off, I manage Compassion in Caregiving and I am taking an online course. Shouldn’t it all make sense that I am running on autopilot with so many items to juggle and very little relief and down time?

But there is so much room to create more down time and more time for me to energize and care for myself so that I am that much better at caring for my family and performing in my job and daily life. I decided to make several changes, and although I felt that I was doing ok before, I feel such a huge shift. It really helped!

Here are the changes I decided to make:

-Limit time on my phone after the kids go to bed. We are in an all-consuming age of constant information and constant connection. I am an extrovert and I thrive off connecting with the ones I love, but it is always important to remain connected to myself! Many of the people I speak to know that I turn my phone off throughout the day and take some space. And if they really need me they know how to reach me if I am disconnected to my device.

-Ensure that I am spending quality time with my partner- distractions aside.
Things are so insanely busy in daily life right now that although I spend lots of time with my partner and speak to him most of the day, having that time set aside to just be with him without our devices and without external distractions is so important. We have committed to watching two shows together right now (ok, we often pause the show to have a side conversation), but this solo time without other distractors is so important. Before the pandemic we had date nights and committed time for one another but we have to create this now as there are no options for that time outside of our house.

-Ensuring that I stay as deeply connected to the ones I love as much as possible. Sure, it’s easy to send a text here and there. But meaningful connection does not come from passive messages. Ensuring to do video conversations and have phone conversations with my close friends/ family and participating in distanced (and now masked) walks is so vital for connection and it has made a huge difference in how I feel day to day.

Are there parts of your life that you can shift for a different outcome? Is there something you have implemented that has shifted your life in a better direction and has made you a better care partner? I would love to know! Please connect with me here or on my social media platforms.

-Stephanie Muskat, MSW, RSW